drag_the_waters

Sun, 29 Aug 2004 04:41:03 GMT

Wow, I forgot I had this journal, Its nice cause I need to vent.

I had a panic attack today, I was out riding and then it hit me and I had to stop. Luckily I was by Jason and Aarons so all was calmed by certain things. I got home and my folks weren't home so I sat in my room listening to music flipping a razor blade through my fingers. I've been having bad dreams again and at least one part of the dream has come true or almost come true. I'm getting alittle worried. And the 2 people I know I could talk to about it are gone. I feel like my security blanket is gone. It left once and then I warmed up to another person and finally felt calm again and then it's gone again god damn I feel so lost.

I'm starting to crave the alcohol and drugs again. I want it so bad but I've made a promise, that and I know it wont help so I write. Everything I feel goes on a black book on my highest shelf.

Thu, 01 Jul 2004 04:06:53 GMT

holy hell its been a while i've been in a god plave up until 2 weeks ago when everyhting around me started to hit the fuckin fan. Family friends goddamned I am so fuckin pissed off right now i just want to hit some thing FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Now where did i put my jack daniels?

Sun, 30 May 2004 13:26:07 GMT

Well I've been in a decent mood as of late. Friday I was kinda down, but nothing picks you up like a trip tp Metro with 2 of the craziest people you know

Ahh Yes the first entry

Sat, 15 May 2004 01:56:36 GMT

Well now, thouse of you fortunate enough to get this journal and are my friends be happy, I'm doing a major stock of my friendships and most are ending, I'm tired of the bullshit and the lies, my other journal will probably become dormant everntually.
This will more or less be my journal that I only say things I want certain people to hear. That and so I can get away from the other one.